Rediculousness Everywhere

My dad taught me several things. One of the most critical, keep your sense of humor! Because of him, I see humor everywhere. This week I brought a camera with me to Walmart and true to life, found that we as human beings are kind of funny, and sometimes downright ridiculous. Let me demonstrate. When I first walked into the store, I was greeted by this slightly misleading sign.

Actually, it was my sixteen year old son that pointed this one out. Leave it to a hormone riddled boy to notice a sign that could be interpreted as selling ladies for 10.00 instead of the sunglasses below. I found it even funnier that the lady offers 100% UV protection. Not sure how. Definitely don’t want to ask. Who knew Walmart was pimping out the girls. Next I wandered into the cosmetics section. This was a wonderland for crazy advertising. Below are two examples.

Get it, Scandel-eyes.. Who knew that to be pretty your eyes had to have a naught, naughty reputation. What I wouldn’t give to be around the big fake wood table when that one was thought up. But wait, not only are eyes supposed to be scandalous, but apparently based on the product below, you’re not sexy unless your lips are unnaturally huge and you are pouting. Pouting, isn’t that something your mom told you to stop doing when you were like six years old. Isn’t that why you spend a large portion of your childhood in time out? Apparently, she was wrong and pouting is a powerful tool to get you what you want, particularly if combined with your scandalous eyes. Funny, funny people. Finally, I must share with you the best sign in the store. This funny was completely on accident. The picture below is a door the employees use to go into the back room. Look at it carefully and you will learn that repeated hand placement is the difference between you being an associate or just a….. well you can see it for yourself.

I hope you enjoyed my little Walmart tour. It is true; you’ll find humor in life if you only look for it. Most of all, I hope you find something to make you laugh today!

Cover Reveal for WRONG PLACE, RIGHT TIME

 

PRESENTS. . .

A Cover Reveal

for

Wrong Place, Right Time

by Brooke Williams

Release Date: December 9 , 2014

Published by The Writers Coffee Shop

As the bumbling town TV traffic reporter, Kate Covington is a constant source of entertainment, but Kate sticks with her dead end job because of her love for news anchor Brian Schaffer. When Brian spontaneously runs off to marry his high school sweetheart, Kate panics and quickly follows. She finds herself in a Las Vegas wedding chapel, desperate to tell her best friend how she feels before he makes a huge mistake and marries the wrong person. The mistake, however, is all Kate’s. As the scorned bride runs back down the short aisle, Kate quickly realizes she just interrupted the wrong wedding. The would-be groom, Chad Leida, explains the predicament Kate has caused him…he needs to marry before turning 30 in order to inherit his family fortune…and he no longer has a bride. When Chad asks Kate to marry him and promises her a million dollars for a year of her time, Kate isn’t sure what to do. She has a great deal of debt to her name due to caring for her ailing grandmother, but she also doesn’t want to let go of the idea of love and marriage going together. Kate’s impulsive decision changes her entire lifestyle…and her ideas about love. From Las Vegas to San Francisco and even to the Midwestern city of Omaha, Kate learns that even when she turns up in the Wrong Place, sometimes it is at just the Right Time.  

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Brooke Williams is an award-winning author and freelance writer. She has written hundreds of articles as well as several novels, including Someone Always Loved You and Beyond the Bars. Brooke has a Bachelor of Arts degree from Morningside College, with a double major in Mass Communications and Religious Studies. She has twelve years of experience in radio broadcasting, both behind the scenes and on-air. She was also a television traffic reporter for a brief time. Brooke and her husband Sean married in 2002 and have two daughters, Kaelyn and Sadie.  

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A Story-less World

The destiny of the world is determined less by the battles that are lost and won than by the stories it loves and believes in. —Harold Goddard

I was up at our family cabin last weekend. The night was pristine and cool and the only noise I could hear was from my closest neighbor. The grandparents, parents and children of three families were sitting around a crackling bonfire talking and laughing. Then it got quiet. It was too dark and too far away to see their faces, but in the still of the night, I heard one voice clear and sweet as a single songbird.  He gathered in the family with his words as he began to tell a story.  I couldn’t help but listen. I was entranced as much as the others. His story was a tale of a soldier during World War 1 and his struggle to do the right thing in a perilous situation. I was struck by the beauty of his tale but also by the magnificence of storytelling in general.  It dawned on me that history is just another form of story-telling and when you tell your kids about things their grandparents did, story-telling. Then there is story-telling in religion. All religions have some form of it. The Bible is a combination of history and parables.  Cough, cough, more stories used to teach and build and warn. Native Americans have used stories as a way to teach and preserve their culture for thousands of years.  Then we have good old fashion made up stories. We sit in movie theaters and cry for someone that isn’t even real but somehow we are touched. We read books and think about them for days afterwards, maybe even weeks. How powerful is that!

Yep, sitting on my porch swing eaves-dropping on the neighbors, I was overcome with gratitude that I get to be part of this awesome thing called story-telling. I’ve gotten emails after someone read Shackled and they tell me that my story changed the way they see things.  So cool!  Best of all, I think the craft of telling a really great tale will never change, nor will the effect be lessened on our lives. I hope so, because I for one, do not want to live in a story-less world. What about you. Is there a story that is dear to you?

There Is No Finish LIne

I once heard a seasoned and  successful author say, “There is no finish line for authors.”  At first, I thought that was crazy talk. What do you mean no finish line? I thought that was the most discourage thing I’d ever heard said, then I thought about it.

You write your first novel. Wow, you actually completely an entire book!  Can you sit and bathe in the success of your endeavor. Nope, now you have to find someone to represent your work and as brilliant as you are, you are up against thousands of submissions at any given time….not to mention market trends, agent preferences and so on.

There goes that finish line, but you are the exception and you land an amazing agent. You can almost see yourself going through that yellow tape at the end of the race until you realize, he or she still has to sell your book with a publisher. Now just for the sake of optimism, let’s say that you land a great book deal with a good publisher. Finish line here you come. 

The chariots of fire music starts to play. You are running, barreling toward the end when your publisher starts talking about what kind of marketing you will do and how it will take all your time.  Holy Crap, is there no end to it all?  Isn’t the money supposed to just roll in?  

Your book hits the market and it actually sells. Wahoo!  You’re doing the happy dance and that is when you get the first email asking when the next book will be coming out. 

Suddenly you realized, the track that you’re on is circular. They’ve lied to you. The finish line is really the same thing as the start over line.  At that point you’re wondering if they make a medication to deal with your condition, but amazingly you don’t pout too long.  Instead, you throw your shoulders back, go to the finish line which is in fact just another start, and of your own volition begin the course once more.  Are you crazy?  Maybe a little, but most of all, YOU ARE A WRITER and you will go round and round in a circle of insanity if it means that even one person will cherish your words as much as you do. To all you writer’s out there, there may not be a finish line, but you are my champions.

Stars on the Ceiling

Recently my oldest son and my youngest daughter switched rooms. This of course, entailed redesigning, painting, and reorganizing both rooms.  Once my daughter was happily settled into her hot pink with zebra accented space. I went to work on making her former, purple room acceptable for an eighteen year old boy. His main request…please take down the dozens of glow in the dark stars.  These stars had been securely fastened for NINE LONG YEARS.

Somewhere between carefully pulling down each star and scraping off the sticky putty that came with the stars, I had a thought. In many ways, people are just like these stars. Let me explain.  

Each person that comes into our lives whether for just a few minutes or for years stays with us.  Some of them are like the small stars, not offering much light, but cumulatively valuable. Then there are those like the largest stars in the pack. They fill our life with wonder. These might be our best friends or family.  They offer light when things seem dark and guide us along our way.  These are the ones we can't live without.

All these people, both of great and small influence will someday be taken from our lives. Some we purposely leave behind. Others are taken by moving or changes in our lives or theirs. Worst of all, some disappear when they die leaving our life dark and cold in spots.

The influence people have in our lives is not just the glow of the star but also the like putty that in my daughter's room held the stars securely to the ceiling.  I only had my mother for three short years and although she died from cancer, I see her influence “sticking” in my life all the time. I believe it is the same with other people.

It's one of the gifts of the universe. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant each person teaches us something.
Imagine if we chose each interaction carefully, thinking of what we were sticking to people and what would stay with them when we were gone. What if we literally carried a star that had the words we wanted to say on it and handed it to each person we spoke to. I know for me, it might change the way I treat people. I might take more time, offer more kind words. What do you think? Do you believe people "stick with us." Take a second to leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you. 

Sneak Peek for The Second Secret!!

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”
― Benjamin Franklin,

Here it is! The first peek of my latest, and must add very fun WORK IN PROGRESS!  This young adult book is all about secrets, the ones you hide and the ones you can’t tell, even if you want to.  Watch for more info and publishing dates. Meanwhile, here’s a teaser from THE SECOND SECRET.

 

I gathered my backpack more so that I could carry it like a shield in front of me and followed Mr. Shoop to his office.  I jumped when he closed the door and I heard the mechanism click.  My principle came around to his side of the desk and sat in his chair. He kept his back straight and his hands on his lap.  He’d been at my baptism. He’d given me awards and had dinner at our house but I all I saw when I looked at him was him killing in cold blood.

I wanted to grab him by the shirt and scream. Why, why would you do that, but I knew there was still a chance that he didn’t know it was me on the porch and staying anonymous could keep me alive.

His tone of voice was all business. “Thank you for meeting with me,” he began. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

The total insanity of the situation was almost too much. How was I doing? I would’ve been doing much better with living parents. 

“I’m fine,” I forced myself to say.  He pulled his chair around his desk so that we were only a few feet apart.  My stomach churned the acid like a volcano ready to erupt. If I vomited, I’d make sure it landed in his lap.

He looked as if he might reach out touch me, but he didn’t. Thank goodness we lived in a litigious society and administrators had to keep their distance. Still, being so close to him made my skin crawl.  I pulled my backpack tight to my chest.

“I know it was your eighteenth birthday and you were at Ally’s when your parents were killed. Is that right?” His dark eyes seemed to search mine anticipating a specific answer. His brazen probing was pushing my anger to override my immediate fear. 

“Well, according to police, I was running from a bear about that time.” I said wryly.  Mr. Shoop cocked his head to the side as he listened. “And then I was with Liam and Ally the rest of the night. Why do you ask?”  

Mr. Shoop’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. He was not impressed that I answered his questions with questions of my own. I knew I was acting dangerously rash, but sitting so close to my parents’ murderer incited me momentarily making me forget my fear.

“Well, dear, I know it was a terrible night and wanted to make sure you were surrounded by friends. I want you to know we all support you.”

Liar, liar, pants on fire. A children’s rhyme came to my mind and I wished I had a match right about then. His pants looked highly flammable.

 

Advice From a LIghtly Seasoned Author

“All readers come to fiction as willing accomplices to your lies. Such is the basic goodwill contract made the moment we pick up a work of fiction.”
—Steve Almond, WD

I once heard this process described as the “promise to your readers.”  When a person starts your book, what have you promised to give them? Will they leave believing in true love? Will they discover murderer or will the tables be turned on them? Can you make them accept Vampires and Angels as something so vivid and real that they flirt with the thought that maybe they do exist?   

This is why so many readers love and simultaneously hate cliff hangers. After all, who really wants to be dangling over the edge of a thousand foot drop?

If I could give any advice to a new author it would be don’t try to impress your readers with whirly-swirly fancy words.   Don’t rely on gimmicks like cliff hangers and contrived action that doesn’t add to the storyline.  This is a subjective field. One publisher will tell you this is right while another while forbid you to do the exact same thing. It’s exhausting and taking everyone’s advice will suck the creativity out of you faster than you can say I QUIT!

Recently, I’ve developed the skill of plugging my ears and saying La, La, La, La when well-meaning but contrary advice is doled out.  I've found that the only master worth bowing to is the well told story. That's what readers want, to get lost in an unforgettable adventure. They want a ticket out of reality and you, the passionate writer have the ability to create just what they crave.

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying sloppy writing is okay or lazy, hole-filled plot lines do the trick. I’m just saying that at the end of the day, the contract is between you and your readers, and trust me, they’ll tell you if you’re doing it right!

Take heart aspiring writers, this field always needs fresh talent. Now go, write your heart out. Be prepared to re-write your heart out after that, but whatever you do, if you want to become great, don’t give up,

Well, I’m off to work on my writing. Thanks for stopping by.