Monday, August 27, 2012

The Perfect Candidate For President of the United States

I’ve long since held that the office of President of the United States of America is by far one of the most challenging jobs in the world. You have to be everything to everyone. You   must be an expert in every culture and language, a brilliant economist and public speaker and list goes on. No matter what you do, someone isn’t happy. If something goes wrong, it is your fault.  How is one person supposed to be qualified to handle a job this difficult?
They must be prequalified, able to hit the ground running, fearless and ready to handle anything. Knowing how important the presidency is, should we choose a brilliant orator, or a successful business man, an idealist, or common every day Joe? 
I would like to propose a different kind of candidate, one who is already trained to handle long hours, a diversity of tasks, and a never ending stream of criticism. This candidate is also a seasoned economist and flawless negotiator.  This candidate is any half decent mom with a few years of experience under her belt.
Think about it.  A mom lives within a tight budget and still manages to have some left over to handle any crisis that might arise. She can take a room full of squabbling kids and get them to agree on TV programming, menu’s and other such important issues.
Imagine what she could do with a divided congress, especially if she fed them first.   A mom has already dealt with foreign affairs and power hungry tyrants every time she’s volunteered for the PTO. Somehow, she manages all of this and without the aid of hired advisors and Czars. 
Moms are not only effective; they are a force to be reckoned with.  One glare sent over Skype to a foreign leader and they wouldn’t dare think of challenging the United States. And what about military decisions you might ask?  Moms are approached daily to decide what is fair and who is at fault, most importantly, Moms always know when you are lying. Imagine how handy that skill would be when working with foreign leaders and lobbyists. When Iran tells us they are only building those odd shaped factories to create low cost power, a mom wouldn’t have to waste good money on intelligence Intel, she’d just know.
I could go on forever about the qualifications of a mom, but more than likely, you’ve had one of your own and I don’t need to continue. You know mom is that one that keeps things running smoothly, the finder of all lost articles and keeper of schedules. 
Men please don’t be offended. You’ve done a great job, but now it’s time to let a real professional take over.  Come November 6, 2012, when you go to the poles, take that pen and write in MOM for President. She’ll have the United States of America whipped back into shape in no time.

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