Sunday, May 11, 2014

A Mom-less Mother's Day

On mother’s day we often hear the praises of mother’s and rightfully so. Mothers are an amazing creature. Mothers give us life and the make the world go round after that. I know, I am a mom of seventeen years and it’s the hardest most rewarding thing in my life.

 The problem is, not all of us wake to the rosy sound of a mother’s cheerful voice and some moms do more damage than good.

My own adopted mother died at the unthinkable age of twenty-nine from cancer.  I had a step-mom who did her best for the seven years she and my dad were married but now has not been involved in my day to day life for a very long time.  This leaves me on mother’s day thinking about holes in my life rather than a person (a mom) who in a perfect world would’ve filled those holes with love and warmth and support.

The truth is, we don’t live in a perfect world… but we do live in a world with the opportunity to make it better for our kids than we might have had it ourselves.  For those of us feeling like we may not have a had a perfect “mom situation”, I commiserate. At the same time I don’t believe an absence of a mother figure dooms you to be a poor mother yourself. The best part about the human spirit is our unique ability to adapt, to learn and to aspire beyond what has been given us.

In my perfect world everyone has the gift of the unconditional love of a mother. To all you moms who were taught how to be a good mother, kudos to you. For the rest of us let’s change bad patterns, eliminate abandonment, fill the holes, and let our own children have something to truly celebrate on Mother’s day and every day because we loved them.       

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