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Monday, August 13, 2012

Why I have Chandelier Envy

First off, I must explain that I live in Arizona. It’s a desert. For anyone who might not already know this, Arizona has two seasons, warm and boiling. I am a firm believer that when the bible speaks of sending people to a burning hell, it is in fact alluding to the fact that the bad people of this world will eventually be sent to Arizona in the summer with no air conditioning!!
You get the point.
So the other day I was sitting at my counter, sweating despite the fact that the overhead fan was working its little fan guts out to give me some relief when I was struck by a question. How many fans do I have in my house? Out of curiosity or a total inability to stay focused on what I was writing, I took a little stroll through the house and counted fans. Twenty. I counted twenty fans currently being used on a daily basis. I started realizing there were big ones overhead and small ones on tables.  High one and low ones, white ones and red ones. It was like a bad Dr. Suess fan story.  I was embarrassed to discover that I had three, count them three fans in the bathroom because there is nothing worse than your makeup melting off as you’re putting it on (true story). 
I even have a overhead fan in the bedroom I’ve given the name Bob, which isn’t that weird considering I name frogs that we find in the pool Bob. However, Bob, in this case stands for B-BIG O-OLD B-BLOWER because Bob is the biggest size fan you can buy (70 inch blade!!). BOB ROCKS, but it is a little awkward when my husband asks me to turn on Bob just before we lay down to go to bed, mostly because I’m not that kind of girl!
So after counting all my fans, and sweating as I did so, I had a terrifying thought. I’m doomed to having fans as light fixtures for the rest of my life. Some of you might say, so what. Some of you that are practical like my husband would take function over beauty any day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my little spinning friends, but just once I would love to look up and see a chandelier dangling down sending little shards of light this way and that- Or I’d take a big old sixties style bamboo light casting a soft glow on my kitchen table. I’d even be thrilled with an old meter lamp like my dad used to have next to the bedside. Anything fun and funky, because for some reason lighting is my thing and while IKEA may provide me with choices my hot climate does not. Do I appreciate my fans, I do, but now you know why I dream of chandelier’s I’ll never have. The question I leave you with is what quirky thing you live with in your house and what do dream of changing?

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